One two Skip a few.... 6 DPO

So I am 6 DPO today. Man I was tempted to make a bad choice and test. I mean nothing would come of it I might even see a positive because of the HCG in my blood stream from the trigger shot. No I need to wait.... I dislike waiting. But today I am crampy, slightly more then normal but I think that's the progesterone kicking in. I had a nice glob of white fun in my panties yesterday....

I'm making stuffed bread last night, had the dough rising and the over preheating had all the veggies prepped - Roasted Zucchini with garlic was the main ingredient - with lots of other veggies, so good... But I forgot to get cheese... I almost never for get that. I plan my meals out for the week - every week- How the heck... So I had to run out and get Cheese then after calling Hubs to tell him I will be out just in case he got home after I left, he added somethings to the list. So it least it was productive....

Then I saw Rock Of Ages the other night and really wanted to listen to the sound track - so yesterday evening I head to the record store (yes I still call it that because my first album was on just that a record!) Well I go to the movie soundtrack section and look for the title find it and quickly head to the register. Well I get to the cat unwrap it like a little kid at Christmas. Put it in my CD player and the first song Sister Christian was sounds a lot like the Broadway Musical rather then the movie... so I keep listening.... nope I bought the Broadway Musical ver..... Fail....It's not like me to make mistakes like that. I call Hubs and told him how i screwed up, I'm still going to keep it because I love the Broadway musical - that's where we were for our honeymoon- in NY city! So it brings back nice memories but I wanted Tom Cruise sing Pour Some Sugar O Me.... And that little cutie lead, who I looked up his age... 21...... Yikes....

I am feeling a little odd today... more so then normal.... But only time will tell..... probably just the drugs..... Tricky Tricky Drugs.

And my Grampy's surgery went well, although in other news he has early onset Alzheimer.... That's new to all of us, I guess last year when he had the testing he failed.... but my gram kept it quite....Don't know who she thinks she helping by doing that.... it also explains why he couldn't remember where he was after the surgery, he was really confused the nurses said.... So sad.... he's like a father to me....

**** Side note does Progesterone cause dizzy feeling... and Hunger?**** 

3 dpo... Feeling myself

Everything seems fine, nothing terrible. No nausea this time, or bloating that badly- just slightly tired today- I had a restless night of sleep, tossed and turned... Not sure where that is coming from, normally I'm a GREAT SLEEPER, I mean I can fall asleep just about any where and of anything with noise too. I could go pro with my abilities to sleep.... Guess I'm heading to bed before 10 tonight...I feel fine for 3 dpo nothing to report out of the norm. I had a temp of 98.20 this morning. 3rd day in a row with a temp increase so things are looking like they are working.... 12 more days and then I can test.

If I tested today would it read positive because of the HCG shot? I know rebecca told me that it out of my system in 6 or so days from the shot...

I stopped doing any sort of drinking, which is hard as the wife of a wine sales person... He brings me expensive samples to try and I usually have a glass of wine with dinner, very french we are! not anymore... Clomid has made drinking not fun.... I feel so hung over and tired, dizzy and just a mess that I have stopped. Not that I was a big drinker but I stopped never the less.... bummer.... All my friends think I'm pregnant and trying to hide it. All they talked about was stupid little innuendo's last night at dinner, one even told a story about a co-work who didn't want to tell her she was pregnant but she knew and she always knows when someone is... Staring at me, well no sweetie your wrong I'm not. I even verbalized it. Didn't phase them. My friends are sweet though, I'm glad that they don't ask.... i told them I just Ovulated, which to them means nothing, they are all children-less women in there 30's, and I have taught them more about there cycles then I think that they cared to know. But they listen. And i am glad, they ask the right questions and say the right things to me, never do I feel judged or that I am broken around them. This is just one of my many groups of friends. So far I have no friends that I can relate to on this subject so don't worry my blogging days are far from over.

Hoping that the day goes by fast. My Grampy is having back surgery today at the age of 77... it always makes me nervous going under at his age but he had all the test that confirms he should do great and he is in good hands and will hopefully have no more or less pain then he was suffering from once the surgery is completed, think of him today his name is Toby. I love him so much.

2 DPO... much better today

So things have been better today. Not feeling as tired and sore. I do have a little hematoma (aka bruising) at the site for the 2nd shot. Rookie mistake, I forgot to change the needle head after drawing the 2nd vial of meds (HCG) into the shot, it was dull therefore I have a bruise…. First shot burned a bit going in but was fine once I set for a bit…. Then the next day I felt fine but grumpy, unusually grumpy. But Sunday was horrible I was extremely tired. It could have been the heat and the fact I shot a wedding all day long Saturday that made me that tired on Sunday. I am getting older and my body doesn’t rebound like it use to from extreme working. So I took a 4 hour nap on Sunday. I now today feel tired but not too bad today. I actually feel really good. I feel like we didn’t necessarily time things the greatest. We had timed intercourse on Tuesday night, Wednesday night late, not Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday Morning, not Saturday night, and then again on Sunday morning… We might be okay, I think we are but only 2 weeks will tell – well 12 days…. 2 DPO today… they countdown to pregnancy website says my chances are high based on my input. Which just mean I had sex on the days that I needed to...We shall see. i would not be surprised if I was pregnant- well maybe a little.... But still for me this could really go either way.

 I started Progesterone last night. Thank you STEPH!! No real changes there. I did have a temp rise on Sunday morning to 98.04 normal rise, then this morning 98.48, I assume that’s the extra progesterone talking. Haven't seen much leakage yet... Question: Does that little capsule completely melt and dissolve or am I going to find a shell of pill in my panties? I hate all the chemicals in my body...I really wish my body knew what to do when it tried to get prego.... Just do your Job Body!

I’m feeling okay this cycle – be interested to see if this works and then really the big test will be to get me past 12 weeks… Then I think I will Breathe a little….But I am getting ahead of myself. But I am also trying to think Positive…. I need to think this can and will happen. I will treat my body and mind as if I am pregnant. I think I will test on the 4th of July.... That would be day 23 and - 11 DPO.... I should know by then. And I think I should know if I can have a celebratory 4th Cocktail or if I need a Mocktail?! I guess the need to know is going to weigh on me for the next week.......Not that drinking is a big deal - I don't need to drink it's just a tell tale sign on a holiday in my family and we will be at camp - or as the rest of the country calls it's "our Cottage" on the lake in Maine...I mean my family isn't into pointing that out but they will all one by one when were are alone ask me if I am. they do every time I'm not drinking. I think this year I will pretend to be hung over... usually that keeps them off my trail but not for long....

Here goes.... the 2WW.....

1 dpo.... does not feel great

This is either the worst hang over ive ever had or the HCG is making me very tired, like I hit a wall... any thoughts....
update... feeling better, not much more awake, I still feel sleepy ....
here goes the 2 week wait ...

I'm a Left side Rock Star

I got not 1 but 2 - 20 mm and 22mm follies on the left!

I even got my same sonographer that I had when we heard the heart beat last year.... she as so sweet when I told her, we lost that baby... She was so happy to see me - and I told her the down low on my tube missing and all the fun times I've had since seeing her last fall. She was so nice, made my day! I kept thinking I hope I get K as my Sonographer today... and i got my wish, my 2nd wish is that I get to see her again when I'm past 13 weeks and doing great! She was almost as excited as was about the Eggs being ripe on my left side! She did a little jump of excitement, love it. Love when good people make you day with Kindness! Make the world of Difference!

I'm waiting to hear back about the Estrodol level....then Shot of HCG - Hopefully We can time some S.E.X. all night long and get this lady pregnant!.... I'm shooting a wedding all night tonight and tomorrow during the day.... I pray I can time this right..... Looks like in this case more is not less! because 24 -36 from the shot you Ovulate, right?.... so we could O as early has this time tomorrow or before 3pm which I would be at the wedding shooting by then..... I am soooooooooooooo crossing fingers and toes that everything go well. maybe she would even let me do Trigger tomorrow so that I have a all night Saturday and Sunday day to make this happen? We shall see, now if a good as time as any!

I'm so hoping that this works... I've never felt so nervous and excited before this moment! It's like Christmas!

So Sorry....

I have been again MIA for a month... I am sorry I have been trying to read all of the blogs I follow and catch up...

So I have been alright. Just feeling down about the whole process of taking drugs to make a baby. I just have so many worries and questions:
Will this Work?
Are drugs the right way...
Do I have a chance this year...?
Is this my right path?
Will I ever be free of thinking these things some day...?
Will people stop say "it's going to happen"?

1000's of more questions then what is just here. I find myself wanting to seek out a psychic or medium have them tell me just anything to let me know the end of all this worry is over. I would love to just know, yes or no. I really don't think I would want to hear no but if that was the case then I can built and bridge and get over it but I really don't think that is the case. Has anyone any thoughts on this? Anyone they have liked in the past and used for spiritual advisory.

I was watching "How I met your mother" it's one of my fav TV shows. It was a repeat from Christmas, Robin on the show finds out that when she sleeps with Barney that she might be pregnant and goes to the Dr and finds out that she later cannot have children at all...I cried. And Cried.... it was not that she wanted Kids but she wanted to know if she wanted them she could and I can relate to that. I want children but to be told no..... that is heart wrenching...

Tomorrow I have my Check Day 11 - see if eggs are on the left side.... So if the are then a shoot myself with HcG and hubby and I make whoopee! But this cycle I have not temped, peed on a OPK or anything. I did check my cervix though today. It's odd but i almost feel like I have given in to all of this.... Not sure where it will take me but I'm hoping for pregnant and staying that way. And this cycle I think I will O on the right side and I'm going to really get to try this time! But I also cannot test because the HcG will show pregnant when I'm not, How long does that last?

I guess these are all things I get to find out.... Wish me luck at 7:30 am - nothing like a Joy stick in your V-jay-jay to wake you up....