So tired....

No not physically tired... well a little, damn Olympics!
But tired, of all of this.... tired that nothing seems to be working, this is the longest stretch I have had with out getting pregnant..... I know the fat lady has not sung yet but my hope is low.... I know I should be able to make it just one more day, to sounds like eeyore.... But i feel like a little cloud has been following me since October 24, 2011......

I just want to be a mum so badly, to have a little one to share our lives with.... We have been ready to this for 3 years...... I have been told by psychics and intuitives that I will have a biological child it just will take time. But I ask: How, How long? Am I going down the path wrong, should I be going with clomid.... Should I try once more....? WHAT DO I DO? What is right? Should I take a break? What should I do? I am a good person and a rule follower, give me something to follow and I will follow it to the T.....

Just this pang of sadness hit me at when my boss was interviewing this "kid", I say Kid because he looks about 20 y.o. and his wife is pregnant with their frist and he was gloating about the Ultrasound apt.... It's a girl. I'm so happy for you... I say, congrats- NOT!....
 I shouldn't say that, who knows if they have had issues... Who am I to Judge....

I just need a sign, or a date that I know that I can get to.... 

And If I have to listen to one more personal phone call of my co-work, I'm going to loose my shit...... She talks to her 15 y.o. in baby talk..... caller her 80 y.o. mother Mommy and talks to her the same freaking way. Always answers her sister's phone calls with "Oh it's my Sister, Oh How is my sister today......" DRIVES ME NUTS..... God these hormones are getting to my mood swings....

I will test tomorrow moring, check and see what I see....

One interesting thing, after looking at my chart from my pregnancy in September, I actually was on DPO 13 when I got a positive, not 11 like I had always thought... which this week would be Wednesday...

Thank you for the wonderful, amazing, awesome support you have all given me.... I'm so glad I have all of you....


Second thoughts......
My mum and I have an odd similarities and every time we are about to get AF, we clean and we clean - almost uncontrollably.... Well last night I had the urge to clean my kitchen and living room, side room and bedroom....... Beside a little fatigue (from the lack of sleep due to Olympics) some bloating, irritability, stuffy-running nose, slightly crampy and constipated, I'd say progesterone is doing it's job, and I should have the most expensive period in a while.... But sometimes my pregnancies have been just as if a period is coming...