Catch up, sorry its been a while

So it's been a little while.... Sorry....

My 3rd nephew in 3 years was born Saturday to my SIL, she says this is her LAST... I say sure... this her 3rd boy and she has them all with in 6 to 9 months of each other.. She was determined to have girls and she got 3 boys and her husband is so adamant about not having more children he posted on FB last year: "3rd baby is on the way in March, so is my vasectomy..." - awkward... So yeah, way to air your dirty laundry on FB.... it's clear you only want 3 kids, we actually heard him say it was clear he wanted 2 kid 2 years ago... but it was not clear to my SIL... and neither was birth control because that clearly wasn't an issue getting pregnant..... She has never has an issue getting pregnant or staying... Never.... she tried to tell me once that it took them 6 months the first time (at the point that my nephew 1st one had been born, I had already been trying for 7 months - but we were not advertising "trying"..) ... poor baby... try 4 years then come take to me! I'm happy for them having a new baby but for now I just want one not 3 that's their bag!... not ours!

I am is this odd place, I'm very sad that we are again not pregnant this cycle but I am happy for my brother's girlfriend to have my Niece... And she (my brother's Girlfriend) wants me in the delivery room... I said yes of course! I am excited to be such a part of her little life, from the start.

That's more then I can say about my nephews who I am granted time with occasionally because of the parents controlling nature. You would think that parents of 3 kids would be dying for the Auntie and Uncle to take their children out for play dates and fun... but no... they have a schedule and too much stranger danger to allow it..... Too bad. They have never slept anywhere but their own home... I was spending overnights at my grandparents by the age of  Zero! I had stranger danger for ACTUAL STRANGERS... Not family... But I guess I'm a bad auntie... But its strange, I see my nephews about 4 or 5 times a year and my friends kids about the same and my friends children call me Auntie Ali... Nephews don't have a clue who I am.... but huge me and kiss me very obligatorily- but after they warm up they are all over me... but it takes about a hour.....

But at least to this new little one I am her Only Auntie- and my brother's Girlfriend is very grateful for me... I am good at this Auntie Business and my SIL will be sad to see that she is the one really preventing the QT with the nephews....

Sorry I'm done bitching....

Flow came on Saturday morning, with her full force. TMI alert - Lots of Clots and blood, but not as bloody as last month. I found that I am pretty sure that I had a cyst this cycle as I had a very delayed Ovulation and some spotting mid-cycle.... 99% sure that's what went down... because I bought about 20 pee sticks from the dollar store... all neg. This flow feels so different then past flows, but maybe this is good.... change is good right? who knows.....

I'm getting my grove back. Running, Yoga.... Trying to find a Yoga place locally that will not break the bank.... = impossible.... It's so pricey... Instead now I just need to find a video/dvd that will be suited to me.... Any suggestions... I want something like a vinyasa style, with fluid moton? No idea what to look for. But I really liked the one I went to with heat, I can just point my space heat on me while I work out!!

I want to get my grove back in other ways too... I am so tried of feeling sad when I hear that someone else is pregnant.... will that ever change. I thought I was doing great for a while there but then I feel pretty hard.... I just want to be okay with everything... I know that Its something that I need to do but why is it so hard!!

We are starting a Kitchen/house renovation. We are going to be knocking down a wall that makes out VERY small home even smaller, the wall being removed will make the Kitchen and living room one big space. and it will be bright and sunny.... I'm soooooooo freaking excited! My FIL is going to come down in the next few weeks to help lay out the plan!!! The we will be off to IKEA to get the cabinet and get the measurements together..... omg I will have my dream home very soon.... After we break the bank with this then we can start thinking about adding in a staircase for the upstairs loft...... we want to do a spiral kit.... they are so neat... I've been a Pintress addict lately...