Decided to matters into my own hands, plus I could not take it anymore... I stopped taking the Progesterone on Monday night. As a result my temp went from 98.5 Sunday to 98.20 Monday to 98.04 Tuesday to 97.97 today.... yeah AF is coming very soon.... As I suspected I didn't have any need to test.... Not going to happen. Call my nurse and tell her I got a negative test this am, left a message....Even though I didn't test, my temp is down - feeling something is brewing soon.....I had the blood work done this am that will look at my Lipids(normal over 30 stuff) Prolactin levels and Thyroid levels..... I'm not sure what I am looking for but I guess anything would be fine. I hate to know I have had issues and one of them is a contributor and here I am find thing this out now.... but oh well...
Why can't I just be normal, and have normal thoughts.... Even if I was pregnant, which I am not, I would be thinking of all the things to do to keep myself prego. Constantly thinking....
Things are looking up, the Black Keys - Gold On The Ceiling just came on, always making me dance in my seat! I need to get out of this "poor me funk".... Silver lining, who needs it when you have Gold on the Ceiling, right.... I love good music. Oh and if you haven't see Rock Of Ages, GO! I sat there rocking, bopping and singing along. Totally a 80's hair band lover.... The name of the my Blog, Here I go Again is the title of a song by whitesnake- it always gets me going to hear that song. Going to see Journey with Pat Benitar and Lover Boy in the fall! I saw TED last night too, okay movie, funny- raunchy. There were some really odd moments of too much dead space for a comedy but it was good. It was even more fun that I got go with my Mum, her BoyFriend, Hubs and my favorite Uncle. We had some drinks and dinner before going. I love my family. This Sunday we (My Nannie and My Aunt) are heading to the new casino in Oxford, Maine on the way to New Hampshire to visit family. Check it out, do some slots, why not! Then we stop every time we go to NH at the Japanese restaurant for a yummy lunch- Yokohama.... it's awesome. My Hubs thinks it's okay, but he understands it's more about the people we are vising then the actual restaurant.
Maybe we need to take a break from all this.... and skip this next cycle and pick it up again in a few months.... I just am thinking it would be better for us. I'll talk to the Dr about this..... I guess it's not really the best Idea to give up after only 3 cycles but I'm just not feeling it. Do think that Clomid builds every time you use it? So is it a bad idea to quit now while I'm "ahead". Plus I want to see what the tests say, and I also think I should bring up having some surgery for my endometerosis again... I have no pain but I've heard that it's sneaky like that sometimes...
I feel a way and maybe other feel like me, but I feel a very strong sense of urgency to have a child right now, it's overwhelming. I have a confession. Last night while stopping into target I saw a girl I am friends with on Facebook, she is younger then I am 23, in school for nursing like me, just got married last year, got pregnant in December, on a ooups we weren't preventing luck... And I avoided her, I duck away, almost hid, Hubs hopefully didn't see this odd behavior. She is now 37 weeks along.... She is having a little boy, just had a shower.... I find myself afraid of her.... Same thing with another friend of mine, I have avoided going to her FB page, talking to her, calling her or anything. I'm best friends with her sister and I have been invited to have dinner and other things but I have quietly declined. They understand. i feel terrible but the feeling to see her and the baby is actually even more terrible... You see she she got pregnant right after I did last year.... her baby is almost the exact same age mine would be... It's hard even typing that.... I just don't even want to see pregnancy lately. I always was fine, lately it's been getting to me. I think as this process goes on more, I get more sad.
I wish I could be naive again.
It's completely understandable that you hid from your friend in Target - I probably would have done the same. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI hope you figure out what you want to do next. Sometimes taking a break can be a good thing, but it's best to discuss it with your doctor if you're on meds.
I just wanted to add, your pugs are super cute! I have 2 of my own, and 2 foster pugs. We love them to bits! :)
Taking a break myself right now. Sometimes its really needed.
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