This time feels different... and I'm not just saying that, really! I am so much sicker, my boobs are now a 34B! I've been a glorified 32-34A for ever... B is nice, but they hurt so hubby is sad... Sorry hun.
And they say that you know... Well last time I knew something was wrong... But I couldn't figure out what. Well it ended up being a lack of fetal pole, heartbeat and everything... When the ectopic happened I knew it was bad news too... Bleeding + Pain does not = healthy Pregnancy... I also thought something was sort of wrong this past January with the chemical pregnancy.... it was the brown spotting.... I knew it was going away and not meant to stay....
This time I have no pain, with the exception of "morning" sickness and my Boobs hurt. I have no bleeding. Other then that I feel good about this...I am trying to remain positive until tomorrow at 4pm Eastern time. I even bought a Fit Pregnancy Mag. I brought it home, Hubby laughed, he said "you only bought this because Emily Deschanel is on the cover, right!" I did admit that was a motivation for me! She's on one of our favorite shows we watch reruns of, no cable, Bones- I think it's on Fox but I have netflix to watch shows on so we can watch an entire season straight through!
Last night I went to target got a new bra, 34B, a fan because we need some white noise for the dogs, we have 2 pugs and the puppy decided a week ago that he would bark and growl at 2,3 & 4am at NOTHING! (Last night was awesome sleep) The Fit Pregnancy Mag, and 2 Fire alarms... The Fire alarms are because we have a older house and the Alarms are probably from the EARLY 90's and not Photoelectric which prevents them from going off from Kitchen steam and smoke, as well as bathroom steam... and they have a mute button, thank god!
Then I got hungry and didn't feel like puking at the thought of food and the food that I wanted more then anything was Pad Thai! So I ran to Cottage Road Pad Thai and order it for Hubby and I... His favorite too. Well I had left a message for him earlier in the day and it was me telling him what I was doing and how nothing tasted good or made me want to eat.... So what does he do... He gets me to go food from Willows Pizza... I had Willow's last week and I nearly burned my tongue off trying to eat the Pizza because it was Piping hot and sooooo good and I was super hungry!
But I feel good this morning thank goodness for me eating my weight in Pad Thai.. hubby said it was the most he had seen me "put down" in a while. Besides being constipated and my allergies are out of control (I refuse to take anything) - really do feel better today.... I'm meeting a very spiritual friend after work today, she is a doula, and focus on women issues. She told me my uterus was tilted and to the side before anyone else did, and she did it from feeling me... She wants to see me before tomorrow's sonogram... have tea and send me off with good vibes.
I trying now to eat constanctly to keep ahead of the urge to splurge my insides out... it's hard... I feel good now but usaully within the afternoon I'm a wreck... I need to beat this... I can do this!!
Wish me luck, I think today will be the longest day on record... and tomorrow will feel like a year I am sure of it....
Need a Beat....
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